You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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