nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
