i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
