She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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