She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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