Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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