This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize