she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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