Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
