Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
