yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were trust falling into bushes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
