I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
