The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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