I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
