Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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