Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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