I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
