Where did you get a picture of my penis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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