I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
