he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
