I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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