But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
