Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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