i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
