I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
