Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
