News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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