I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
