Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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