Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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