Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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