We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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