This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
