saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
