Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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