I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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