billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
