fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
