I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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