The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
