I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
