And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
