they need to just BURY HIM!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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