i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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