I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
