Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
