does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
