1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
