I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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