Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
