Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
